Life has been fast lately.

This was only a week ago, right?

And I think I forgot to put on my seat belt.

I suppose I can't say that no one warned me, because they did. Everyone always said not to wish your life away and that it goes by so fast. I guess I just thought they were stupid. Everyone is stupid though when you're in high school. I just wish I had listened.

Because here I am, 19 years old. I'm graduating college next year, I found the love of my life, and I'm on my own in Texas. How on Earth did this happen?!

I swear it was just last week I was driving to my first job, feeling like an adult because I didn't need a licensed driver over the age of 25 in the passenger seat. Pfft. I knew nothing. And in a few years I betcha I'll look back on today and realize this was just the beginning of so much more to come. But I think that's what's scary. This is it. There's no going back. The slow, steady plan I had for my life isn't happening. Instead, I went from guppy to beluga whale in a matter of months in terms of the ocean of life. That analogy was pretty dumb but let's pretend like it's a good one, shall we?

If I could go back I'd tell my 15 year old self that the next five years were going to fly by faster than I could possibly imagine. That maybe, just maybe, those years weren't so horrible and I should've tried to enjoy them instead of praying for the day they were over.

On the other hand, here I am.
On the cusp of something wonderful, while simultaneously basking in the beauty of my life at the moment.

For the next few years, or quite possibly the rest of my life, I'm going to waver between extremely excited and extremely terrified. But I think I'm okay with that. I mean, who would want a calm, predictable life that never changes? (me, that's who) But God knows I'd only enjoy that for a little while.

So here I am. About to turn 20. They say that you 'find yourself' in your twenties. I don't really know what that means. But I think I'm about to find out. And I think I'm excited. The only thing I know for certain is that God is already in my future. And that's a comfort that calms all the seas of my life. Oh! I did it! I tied the analogy together! 

When I was 15 I thought that right now I'd be at Harvard pursuing a law degree, and that I'd be a bachelorette until I was at least 27 when I finally decided to settle down. 

That being said, I think that the biggest gift I've received so far is the gift of failed plans.

As for now, I suppose the beauty is in the uncertainty. The beauty is knowing that when things don't go my way- I've learned that what's right around the corner is even better. The beauty is in the relationships I've formed. The beauty is in loving today, and letting tomorrow worry about itself. God's already there.