An honest inside look at a real relationship.

I’ve learned that love forces you to see yourself the way you really are; no filters or facades. It forces you to break down your pride and ego little by little, and grow towards maturity and selflessness. It teaches you about willing sacrifice and the value of devotion. It can't always bring you smiles and giggles, but it will surely always bring you good and growth.

Now I say this and some of you are going to think I’m absolutely crazy, but I think most of you will know what I’m referring to when I say that dating for 2+ years, and what will be more, just isn’t that common around these parts. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard, “Are yall ever gonna get married?” or “You’ve been together forever!” This started after 6 months. I kid you not. Okay, first off, 2 years isn't that long, but moving on... Second, it’s brought about quite a bit of perspective. Long-term relationships teach you some really unique lessons. And while I’ve got a ways to go, here are some things I’ve learned so far and why for those of us who do continue the dating process longer than others, it’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s great. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone you’ve known for 5 months either; no better or worse. Just different.

When my boyfriend and I started dating I suffered from severe New Relationship Smugness. All the couples that said, “Just you wait…” I rolled my eyes at. We were never going to fight, or bicker, or hurt each others feelings. Because we were perfect. In fact, my boyfriend always knew what I wanted and could read my mind. And me? Well I was the perfect girlfriend. I was fun to be around and loving, and did everything right. Duh.

Please tell me you realized that paragraph was written facetiously.

I saw couples that had been together for years and they would be sitting together and not even holding hands?! Their relationship was clearly in disarray. Or those who hung out with their friends all weekend instead of each other? Get your priorities straight.

Okay, seriously, I was stupid as a rock. In part, because it was my first relationship. But a larger part was that I was simply niave, self-centered, and prideful. Hi, welcome to honesty hour.

Over two years later and I can say that with full confidence.

Who you start dating is not who they will be forever, or even for much longer. People change, hobbies change, and most importantly, situations change. We always put our best foot forward when it comes to a new relationship because, well, the purpose is to make them stay around, right? But after awhile you realize that people are simply that… people. Even the best of people have faults. Namely, yourself. Which is what inspired that first paragraph way up there.

I’ve had to say sorry for things I didn’t even realize I did. I’ve learned that sacrifice and genuine communication are irreplacable. Relationships take so much effort; it might as well be another part-time job.

You will hurt each others feelings, because that filter on your mouth becomes a little less censored when your week has run you ragged. You will have to learn to say you’re sorry. And mean it. You will desire to be around other people, and that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Literally thought this at one point- dear goodness I had issues.

No relationship is perfect and everyone will realize that at one point or another because it is inevitable. I think that one of the biggest blessing that can come from dating long-term is that it teaches you that... while you could potentially still walk away. Be careful about that last sentence. What I mean is this- the beauty is that someone realizes you aren't a façade of perfection, has been hurt by the relationship in some form or fashion, and still says, “I’m staying. Simply because I choose to. Choice alone.”

Gosh, I just love that. And I think that’s what love is. It wasn't the butterflies and sleepless nights on the phone. It was the you aren't perfect, and I’m staying by your imperfect self regardless.

Love really is a beautiful parallel to Christ- because He is love. We are dirty sinful people who mess up time and time again, yet He still says, "I will never leave you." Quite frankly, in the us-to-God relationship, we bring little to the table in comparison. He gives and gives, blesses and blesses, and we receive, serve, and praise. What if an Earthly relationship worked like that? Except both people involved had that mentality. Give and give and give some more. Go out of your way to think of ways to bless the other. And when you receive, appreciate and thank. It seems like the simplest of formulas, but surprisingly enough, it's not all that easy some days. Unrealistic expectations and bad attitudes can change everything, which is why it is so important to seek after the Lord and ask that He purify our hearts, especially in a relationship. When we have the incomparable ability to affect someones life, it is crucial that we check our hearts first and foremost.

But the effort is worth it. Loyalty is worth it. And as my boy Marshall says...

'Easy' as in worth it.